Bokura ga Ita chapter 62

I read the raws for the newest chapter on Billwang today. Something's finally happening in this manga, so here's a summary:

Yano runs into the last train of the night with a coworker and the two exchange some small talk about the cherry blossoms. All of a sudden Yano feels a spell coming on (for his illness, I can't remember what it is) and jumps off the train (at a stop).
He goes to Takeuchi's apartment because it's closer than his own and spends the night there. Takeuchi asks if he met up with Takahashi and Yano says, of course not, why would I?

Sengenji spots Nanami staring at a package of taiyaki (snack) on her desk and jokes, start your diet tomorrow, let's eat those right now! But apparently Nanami, who's been trying to think of an excuse to see Yano, had bought the taiyaki (after waiting in line for an hour) thinking that she could surprise Yano at his workplace. Sengenki tells her that's stupid - how would Nanami feel if Takeuchi arrived at her workplace one day with taiyaki? Nanami replies she would be happy, but of course that's kinda weird. Nanami offers, what about I go in your place? Sengenji tells her to do her own job and stop being dumb.

On the train Sengenji wonders what is Takeuchi's reason for nudging Nanami towards Yano. But she knows that he's not somebody who does things thoughtlessly, so he must have a concrete reason, something to give him conviction of purpose. But Sengenji doesn't know what's going on and she doesn't want to encourage Nanami to pursue Yano.

At Yano's workplace, Sengenji is doing business as usual and the guys there (because she's pretty) are very attentive and bring her cheesecake that is also very popular. Yano himself had been forced to go pick it up earlier and she catches him watching her. As the guys are discussing who to send to the exhibition in Oosaka the following week, Sengenji finds out that Yano has to attend a funeral for a relative or something. She catches up with Yano and does some small talk with him (asking how he is, how is his dog?) and finally asks how is Yamamoto-san? He chuckles, you don't care anyway. Sengenji asks him to let her know when they decide on a date for Yamamoto-san's mother's funeral. He tells her it'll probably be a very private affair.

At the train station Sengenji asks Yano why he's going on the local train when the express train's right there. He tells her his symptoms have been popping up again so he needs to take the local trains so he can get off if necessary. Sengenji is worried so Yano finds her waiting for him when he finally gets off the local train.
S: You're not fine at all. This isn't like you
S: and what makes you think Yamamoto-san can save you?
Y: hahahaha. Yamamoto save me?! haha. Yamamoto has nothing to do with it. You don't get it do you. This is what you guys keep saying right?
Y: "Stop blaming yourself" "How far are you going to go to carry other people's lives" "Don't have pity for weak people" "Live how you want to live" "You ought to throw out heavy things"
Y: But you have it all wrong
Y: A long time ago you said to me that other people have a chance to worm in, didn't you?
Y: that was really sharp of you...the old Sen-chan was really like that!
Y: ...I can't live without somebody being dependent on me. I'm a loser that can only feel fulfillment by being depended on. I wonder why
Y: If it's because I've been raised that way, or if it's just my inherent nature.
Y: ...so you see, I'm not as selfless and admirable as you guys think. Behind all my pretty excuses, I'm just a selfish guy. It could've been anybody - it didn't have to be Yamamoto
S: ...well in that case, it could've been Nanami
Y: Don't be stupid. Takahashi isn't the dependent-type, is she?
S: ...ha..haha...I see. That's a good excuse you've found. You're just running away. You're just scared of Nanami.
S: I know...you're scared of repeating the past right? She reminds you, right? and you don't want to be abandoned again
Y: ...abandoned? Who?
S: You. by your mother, Nana-san
Y: You're saying I was abandoned?
S: You think that you were "betrayed". That they "betrayed" you and then "left you behind". Even though you were "good to them" and "always faithful and loyal" and you were "dedicated", "they broke their promises"
S: You say that you like being depended on. But that's because you like to offer all of youself too, right? You like to be carried by another. But right now you're not entrusting yourself to anybody, because you if you do, you'll only be betrayed.
S: but you feel betrayed because you have expectations, right? But it's odd, because more than anything, you wanted to meet Nanami's expectations.

but you were scared, so you ran. You understand yourself well - your desire to be loved is stronger than anybody's, and who will you bind next? If you love too strongly it never turns out well, you know this well enough. That's why you distanced yourself, finding any excuse you could, and that's how you protected...yourself? no, your sacred ground

Y: ...is that all you wanted to say?
Y: never show your face to me again

Later at a bar:
Takeuchi: although physically harming another person is illegal, I wonder why there aren't any laws against harming another person's heart
Sengenji: of course - where would the heart be without the body! (hits the table)
S: but as long as you're alive, you still have opportunities. The heart is only at the mercy of the person's will.
T: but for example, if you were hurt and became blind, you wouldn't realize it if something were there. Could you sense the scent of a flower if you were hurt and lost your sense of smell? If you were hurt and lost your sense of touch,would you even recognize something  when you touched it? if you were hurt and you lost most of your senses..
S: ...so then, is it luck...?
T: luck huh~ that's kinda sad

Yano is walking and he's thinking about what Sengenji said ("You wanted more than anything to meet Nanami's expectations, right?" "But you were scared so you ran")
"You ran"
"You ran"
these words are running through his head, and (I suppose the stress induced an attack) he has to jump off the train. He texts his workplace that "it's going to happen soon, so I will be spending the night in the hospital starting tonight. I don't know if it'll take a day, 3 days, or a week...but I'll let you know if anything changes"
Yano tears up.
Nanami is at her apartment eating taiyaki, thinking that she's really sick of them. She decides to freeze them, calls herself a coward (for not going to see Yano), looks out the window to see that it's snowing outside, when the doorbell rings.
flashes to Yamamoto sitting next to her mother's hospital bed. She thinks of her friend who tells her that people can hear you even if they're not conscious.
Nanami answers the door and sees Yano standing there.
"the truth is, you want to love"
"because your desire to love is stronger than anybody's"

end

I liked this chapter. Yano's co-dependency is a fairly common problem and it's really hard to be happy with issues like that. I can understand him being scared and running from Takahashi, and also feeling like he wouldn't want to involve her in his crap. Honestly, I wouldn't touch Yano with a ten-foot pole: he's a nightmare of a partner and a disaster waiting to happen.
I did like the whole exchange between Yano and Sengenji - he needed somebody to whip him a little, and Sengenji is direct enough to not sugar coat it.
Hopefully the series will keep PROGRESSING and end soon.